Cupid Lost His Job


Kyle slowly walked up to his front door, pulling out his keys. Tonight had been another horrible date. Instead of the pretty blond he had expected to meet, she turned out to have dirty blond hair, pockmarks, braces, and glasses. She looked like an awkward teenager. He had almost left then but decided that maybe he would like her if he got to know her just a little, so he sat down.

Right from the start they got off on the wrong foot. She spent the whole time complaining about football and sports in general. Since he worked as a sports agent, that rubbed wrong. When she found out, they sat awkwardly. He tried to start a conversation about her interests. She liked photography but he had trouble saying positive things as the photos she should looked blurry or a finger covered the screen. All in all this date turned into one of the worst he ever had.

The only positive light had been her quick wit. He had enjoyed arguing with her a little over sports. She actually argued intelligently, which made a nice change from pretty women that just didn’t like something because someone else didn’t.

Sighing, Kyle let himself into the house, startled when he heard the basketball game on. Thinking he must have accidently left the game one, Kyle walked into the TV room. Sure enough the large screen, smart tv showed a basketball game. The room also included a large, muscular man in jeans and a white shirt sitting on the couch drinking his beer.

Surprised Kyle stood there, then slowly he started to back out of the room, thinking he would leave and call the police.

“Wait,” the man called, “I’m not here to hurt you. I’m just crashing at your place and getting drunk.”

Kyle stilled but did not move.

“Seriously,” the man continued, “you may get me fired, so the least you could do is let me get me drunk.”

“Fired!?” Kyle exclaimed, “I don’t even know you.”

Then the man turned and looked at Kyle, smiling, “You are not supposed to, but I thought I’d tell you how you were ruining my life.” The man turned back to the game motioning Kyle to join him.

Unreasonably Kyle felt no fear of this big guy and walked around to sit in his easy chair, grabbing a beer. For a few minutes the two men companionably watched the game. Finally the man talked.

“I work, for now, for Love, Inc.” He glanced at Kyle but Kyle just raised his eyes. “We specialize in setting up humans with someone they could reasonably find happiness with. Though we don’t guarantee true love, because that takes work on the humans part. We just set up the meet.”

He sighed, “Now most people looking for love, are pretty easy to set up. But you…” He shook his head, took a drink and watched the game.

Kyle watched him then asked, “Are you a dating service?”

“No,” he replied, flashing a grin, “we go by cupid.”

“Cupid?” Kyles eyebrows shot straight up.

Cupid nodded, “But, man,” he said, “You are the most difficult case I have ever been assigned.”

Kyle shook his head trying to understand.

“Look,” Cupid said, “I’ll lay it out straight. When you decided to become serious about dating and marriage, a cupid gets assigned to the case. For you me. With me so far?”

Kyle nodded.

“I’ve spent the past year trying to find you the right person,” Cupid gave another sigh, “but no one ever seemed to click. I truly thought tonight’s date would do it. Yet here you disappointed again. My boss gave me one more week to find you your mate or I’m fired. I love my job, but I’m not sure I can help you.”

Kyle thought for a moment then asked, “So you have tried to set me up with women I might be happy with and since I haven’t found someone you might get fired?”

“That’s about right,” Cupid agreed.

“That sucks.”

Cupid nodded and the two of them returned to watch the game. Cupid slowly trying to get drunk. Finally Cupid left and Kyle went to bed.

The next morning, Kyle opened his email to find a message from the girl from last night.

“Dear Kyle,” it started,

“I’m sorry about how I behaved at the date last night. I can only say I was extremely miffed that my team lost the Super Bowl. No excuse I know, but I’ll hope you’ll forgive me. I enjoyed our conversation and wondered if maybe we could try the friend thing?”

Signed “The crazy girl, Kelsey.”

Kyle smiled at the email. He had to admit he enjoyed the conversation too. Hitting reply he began, Dear Kelsey.”

Behind him, but out of sight, Cupid smiled.

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